I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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