Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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