I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
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But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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