shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize