your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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