she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
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Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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