Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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