That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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