having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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