Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Soap is not a condiment
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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