I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize