I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize