he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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