could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize