In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize