Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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