The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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