dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize