he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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