I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize