You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize