I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We got so high we made milksteak
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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