The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my sisters under your porch take her home
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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