google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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