I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
This is my gift to your gina
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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