I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize