I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize