i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
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He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
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A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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