and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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