Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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