Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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