I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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