We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
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After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
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i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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