he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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