Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize