i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize