OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize