i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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