brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize