just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
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I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
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I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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