You surviving the open bar?
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The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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