i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize