Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss

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  (248): yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss http://tfl.nu/k4jz
  Replies (4) Good night (926) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?

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  (207): I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway? http://tfl.nu/bdir
  Replies (13) Good night (2341) Bad night (763)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.

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  (770): Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much. http://tfl.nu/renf
  Replies (23) Good night (621) Bad night (4279) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Oh yeah.

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  (770): You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend! (706): Oh yeah. http://tfl.nu/uvwd
  Replies (23) Good night (3852) Bad night (983)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING

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  (310): Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING http://tfl.nu/6fv4
  Replies (24) Good night (992) Bad night (8707) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar

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  (412): I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar http://tfl.nu/dooq
  Replies (28) Good night (4610) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me

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  (813): my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me http://tfl.nu/uytx
  Replies (63) Good night (9344) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.

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  (702): And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now. http://tfl.nu/so7u
  Replies (7) Good night (729) Bad night (3198) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?

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  (254): What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch? http://tfl.nu/qe37
  Replies (11) Good night (1525) Bad night (336) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.

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  (253): I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE. http://tfl.nu/sorm
  Replies (7) Good night (1537) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment

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  (316): At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment http://tfl.nu/s8j6
  Replies (4) Good night (1237) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT

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  (585): I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT http://tfl.nu/ktzj
  Replies (7) Good night (327) Bad night (721) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.

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  (248): BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night. http://tfl.nu/rm2n
  Replies (1) Good night (606) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY

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  (204): HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY http://tfl.nu/xzgm
  Replies (6) Good night (726) Bad night (164) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I wholeheartedly concur

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  (907): There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail. (307): I wholeheartedly concur http://tfl.nu/eyej
  Replies (5) Good night (977) Bad night (179)

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