My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize