i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
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No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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