she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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