literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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