So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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