Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
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Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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