remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Ladies don't puke and tell
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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